A page for randomness

What an interesting week: I came back from vacation to find the two presumptive presidential nominees running away from their bases. Suddenly John McCain is evading, not embracing, the media, limiting access and getting testy with the very people whose formerly friendly coverage made him a popular “maverick.” Meanwhile, Barack Obama is complaining that his “friends on the left” just don’t understand him — he’s not moving to the center, he is “no doubt” a progressive, just one who now supports the scandalous FISA “compromise” and Antonin Scalia’s views on gun rights and the death penalty, no longer plans to accept public campaign funding, and wants to make sure women aren’t feigning mental distress to get a “partial-birth” abortion (the right’s despicable term of choice; the correct phrase is either late-term or third-trimester abortion).

I actually have some sympathy for Obama. He was never the great progressive savior that his fans either thought he was, or peddled to their readers. While Arianna Huffington and Markos Moulitsas and Tom Hayden were hyping him as the progressive alternative to Hillary Clinton, Obama was getting away with backing a healthcare bill less progressive than Clinton’s, adopting GOP talking points on the Social Security “crisis” and double-talking on NAFTA. So why shouldn’t he think his “friends on the left” will put up with his abandoning other progressive causes?

I’ve admired Obama, but I never confused him with a genuine progressive leader. Today I don’t admire him at all. His collapse on FISA is unforgivable. The only thing Obama has going for him this week is that McCain is matching him misstep for misstep. While we’re railing about Obama’s craven vote on FISA — rightfully; Glenn Greenwald is a hero for his work on this topic — McCain was outdoing Dick Cheney with neocon crazy talk, warning that Iran’s test of nine old missiles we already knew they had increases the chances of a “second Holocaust.” Every time I wonder whether I can ultimately vote for Obama in November, given all of his political cave-ins, McCain does something new to make sure I have to.

…

“This Administration has put forward a false choice between the liberties we cherish and the security we demand. When I am president, there will be no more illegal wire-tapping of American citizens; no more national security letters to spy on citizens who are not suspected of a crime; no more tracking citizens who do nothing more than protest a misguided war. Our Constitution works, and so does the FISA court.”

Too bad Obama doesn’t believe that anymore.

Read more: Betrayed by Obama - Joan Walsh - Salon.com

“The makefile keeps recompiling itself…when it finishes, it just recompiles itself again.”

John Harry Nancy

The following is a true story.

Last week I walked into a local “home style cookin’ restaurant/watering hole” to pick up a take out order. I spoke briefly to the waitress behind the counter, who told me my order would be done in a few minutes.

So, while I was busy gazing at the farm implements hanging on the walls, I was approached by two, uh, um… well, let’s call them “natives.” These guys might just be the original Texas rednecks–complete with ten-gallon hats, snakeskin boots and the pervasive odor of cheap beer and whiskey.

“Pardon us, ma’am. Mind of we ask you a question?”

Well, people keep telling me that Texans are real friendly, so I nodded.

“Are you a Satanist?”

Well, at least they didn’t ask me if I liked to party.

“Uh, no, I can’t say that I am.”

“Gee ma’am. Are you sure about that?” they asked.

I put on my biggest, brightest Dallas Cowboys cheerleader smile and said, “No, I’m positive. The closest I’ve ever come to Satanism is watching Geraldo.”

“Hmm. Interesting. See, we was just wondering why it is you have the lord of darkness on your chest there.”

I was this close to slapping one of them and causing a scene–then I stopped and noticed the T-shirt I happened to be wearing that day. Sure enough, it had a picture of a small, devilish looking creature that has for quite some time now been associated with a certain operating system. In this particular representation, the creature was wearing sneakers.

They continued: “See, ma’am, we don’t exactly appreciate it when people show off pictures of the devil. Especially when he’s lookin’ so friendly.”

These idiots sounded terrifyingly serious.

Me: “Oh, well, see, this isn’t really the devil, it’s just, well, it’s sort of a mascot.”

Native: “And what kind of football team has the devil as a mascot?”

Me: “Oh, it’s not a team. It’s an operating– uh, a kind of computer.”

I figured that an ATM machine was about as much technology as these guys could handle, and I knew that if I so much as uttered the word “unix” I would only make things worse.

Native: “Where does this satanical computer come from?”

Me: “California. And there’s nothing satanical about it really.”

Somewhere along the line here, the waitress has noticed my predicament–but these guys probably outweighed her by 600 pounds, so all she did was look at me sympathetically and run off into the kitchen.

Native: “Ma’am, I think you’re lying. And we’d appreciate it if you’d leave the premises now.”

Fortunately, the waitress returned that very instant with my order, and they agreed that it would be okay for me to actually pay for my food before I left. While I was at the cash register, they amused themselves by talking to each other.

Native #1: “Do you think the police know about these devil computers?”

Native #2: “If they come from California, then the FBI oughta know about ‘em.”

They escorted me to the door. I tried one last time: “You’re really blowing this all out of proportion. A lot of people use this `kind of computers.’ Universities, researchers, businesses. They’re actually very useful.”

Big, big, BIG mistake. I should have guessed at what came next.

Native: “Does the government use these devil computers?”

Me: “Yes.”

Another BIG boo-boo.

Native: “And does the government pay for ‘em? With our tax dollars?”

I decided that it was time to jump ship.

Me: “No. Nope. Not at all. You’re tax dollars never entered the picture at all. I promise. No sir, not a penny. Our good Christian congressmen would never let something like that happen. Nope. Never. Bye.”

Texas. What a country.

Source: Godless devil-worshiping evil computers [rec.humor.funny]

During a live interview, FOX Contributor Liz Trotta jokingly wished for the assassination of Sen. Barack Obama.

This latest incident from FOX News continues the trend in violent rhetoric about Sen. Obama from pundits, politicians, and entertainers.

Grinning While Joking About Killing A Candidate
The incident happen in an exchange with the FOX News anchor. When asked her opinion of the recent scandal surrounding some comments made by Sen. Hillary Clinton, which Trotta described by saying that, “some are reading [it] as a suggestion that somebody knock off Osama.” Hemmer quickly corrected Trotta, having noticed that she had said “Osama” when she meant “Obama.” At this point, Trotta said, “Obama. Well…both if we could!” Trotta then laughed gleefully.

What prompted Trotta to joke about the assassination of Sen. Obama was her apparent inability to differentiate between Sen. Obama and the terrorist leader responsible for the terrorist attacks on the United States of September 11, 2001.

Since Sen. Obama first declared his intention to seek the Democratic nomination for president, right-wing pundits on FOX News and a variety of other broadcast outlets have regularly called the Sen. Obama by the name “Osama” in a systematic propaganda campaign to convince the American public that a sitting member of their government has secret ties to terrorists.

As if she were providing a punchline to that long-running propaganda campaign, Trotta made known that the conclusions the public should draw were (1) that Sen. Obama and Osama bin Laden are equivalent, and (2) they both deserve to be assassinated.

Read more: Jeffrey Feldman: FOX Pundit Wishes for Obama Assassination, Laughs - Media on The Huffington Post

The chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee Joe Biden, D-Delaware, called President Bush’s comments accusing Sen. Barack Obama and other Democrats of wanting to appease terrorists “bulls**t” and said if the president disagrees so strongly with the idea of talking to Iran then he needs to fire his secretaries of State and Defense, both of whom Biden said have pushed to sit down with the Iranians.

“This is bullshit. This is malarkey. This is outrageous. Outrageous for the president of the United States to go to a foreign country, sit in the Knesset…and make this kind of ridiculous statement,” Biden said angrily in a brief interview just off the Senate floor.

“He’s the guy who’s weakened us. He’s the guy that’s increased the number of terrorists in the world. His policies have produced this vulnerability the United States has. His intelligence community pointed that out not me. The NIE has pointed that out and what are you talking about, is he going to fire Condi Rice? Condi Rice has talked about the need to sit down. So his first two appeasers are Rice and Gates. I hope he comes home and does something.”

Source: CNN Political Ticker: All politics, all the time Blog Archive - Biden calls Bush comments ‘bulls**t’ « - Blogs from CNN.com

He quoted Gates saying Wednesday that we “need to figure out a way to develop some leverage and then sit down and talk with them.”

The sign in front of a small church in a small town is causing a big controversy in Jonesville, S.C.

Pastor Roger Byrd said that he just wanted to get people thinking. So last Thursday, he put a new message on the sign at the Jonesville Church of God.

It reads: “Obama, Osama, hmm, are they brothers?”

Byrd said that the message wasn’t meant to be racial or political.

“It’s simply to cause people to realize and to see what possibly could happen if we were to get someone in there that does not believe in Jesus Christ,” he said.

When asked if he believes that Barack Obama is Muslim, Byrd said, “I don’t know. See it asks a question: Are they brothers? In other words, is he Muslim ? I don’t know. He says he’s not. I hope he’s not. But I don’t know. And it’s just something to try to stir people’s minds. It was never intended to hurt feelings or to offend anybody.”

Obama has said repeatedly during his campaign that he is a Christian and attends Trinity United Church of Christ in Chicago.

Despite some criticism, Byrd says that the message will stay on the sign. He took the issue before his congregation Sunday night, and they decided unanimously to keep it.

Byrd also said he doesn’t want it to look like controversy forced him to take the sign down.

Source: Small Church’s Obama Sign Causes Big Controversy - Greenville News Story - WYFF Greenville

We’ve all said it: “I’m not that dumb, but…”

Well, I don’t think you’ve said this:

I’m not that dumb that a dumb person can read my dumb mind.

- Suresh

“Remember when I grabbed your resources at the beginning of class?”

“…and then I returned them.”

- Dr. Lee

“And I don’t want to go on a lynching party against Michelle Obama unless there’s evidence, hard facts, that say this is how the woman really feels. If that’s how she really feels — that America is a bad country or a flawed nation, whatever — then that’s legit. We’ll track it down.” - Bill O’Reilly

Lynching? Party? Unless there’s evidence? So we’re to understand from Bill O’Reilly that if someone might be relating a certain level of dissatisfaction with America’s present status and chief executive, that they deserve to be tracked down by Bill O’Reilly’s Lynch Mob?

It doesn’t even matter what Michelle Obama said. We do know that FOX News repeatedly misquoted Mrs. Obama’s statement and regardless of what she said, nothing — no words, intentions or deeds justify the unhinged spike in Bill O’Reilly’s bigoted, splotchy blood pressure to the point of wanting to “track it down” with his “lynching party.”

Read more: AlterNet: MediaCulture: Time for Bill O’Racist to Resign in Disgrace

While driving to work today I was following a big suburban that had a sticker that read:

“Still voting Democrat? You’re stuck on stupid!”

*sigh*

Sometimes I hate living in the South..

Thursday, October 27, 2005;

Ben S. Bernanke does not think the national housing boom is a bubble that is about to burst, he indicated to Congress last week, just a few days before President Bush nominated him to become the next chairman of the Federal Reserve.

Read more: Bernanke: There’s No Housing Bubble to Go Bust

Conversation with Suresh on Mon 11 Feb 2008 11:34:38 AM CST:
(11:34:47 AM) Mark: once a straight always a straight

______________________________________________

(11:37:05 AM) You feel a disturbance in the force…
(11:37:09 AM) Suresh: no I can turn them gay

Mr. McCain has 703 delegates so far, Mr. Huckabee, 190, and Mr. Paul, 42.

Mr. McCain is far enough ahead in the delegate race that his advisers have said it would be all but impossible for anyone else to win the nomination. His other chief contender, Mitt Romney, bowed to those odds when he suspended his campaign on Thursday.

But Mr. Huckabee, a pastor before he became governor of Arkansas, said, “I didn’t major in math. I majored in miracles, and I still believe in them, too.”

Source

Suresh: I guess nothing of what I am saying is making any sense.
Mark: No, I was just thinking how gay you are.
Suresh: I am what I am. I’m a big big gay.

Suresh: “Ok, I’m seriously going.”

Mark: “What? You’re seriously gay?”

Suresh: “I could make you gay.”

10. “Einstein was wrong when he said “God does not play dice”. Consideration of black holes suggests, not only that God does play dice, but that He sometimes confuses us by throwing them where they can’t be seen.”

9. “I have noticed even people who claim everything is predestined, and that we can do nothing to change it, look before they cross the road.”

8. “My goal is simple. It is a complete understanding of the universe, why it is as it is and why it exists at all.”

7. “I find that American & Scandinavian accents work better with women.” In response to a question about the American accent of his synthesiser.

6. “Someone told me that each equation I included in the book would halve the sales. In the end, however, I did put in one equation, Einstein’s famous equation, E = mc2. I hope that this will not scare off half of my potential readers.”

5. “My expectations were reduced to zero when I was 21. Everything since then has been a bonus.”

4. “To show this diagram properly, I would really need a four dimensional screen. However, because of government cuts, we could manage to provide only a two dimensional screen.”

3. “Life would be tragic if it weren’t funny.”

2. “The whole history of science has been the gradual realization that events do not happen in an arbitrary manner, but that they reflect a certain underlying order, which may or may not be divinely inspired.”

1. “Eternity is a very long time, especially towards the end.”

Stephen Hawking’s Quotations - The Land Salmon

“Sounds like Batman, Superman, and Golconda”

Today the CACS Christmas tree, which has been up since early December, has finally been put away.

Christmas is officially over.

- Dr. Radle

The radical view is to say that we’re going to change the definition of marriage so that it can mean two men, two women, a man and three women, a man and a child, a man and animal.

- Mike Huckabee, Republican presidential hopeful, defending his view of marriage
source

I don’t have to “prove” anything. You see, I have this wonderful thing called “faith” and with that I have no need of proof.

source 

“The past two years of experience were countless”

“If your answer is ‘bliss’, then knowledge is everything”

“Death is not necessary after murder”

“Don’t make me come over there…I mean sh**”

“knock knock…who’s there?….it’s frank paul cutt.”

First thing you need to do after buying your shell account is open up a terminal (in OSX its in the Utilities folder), or download putty if you’re on Windows. If you are on Linux and don’t know how to open a terminal I feel sorry for you.

Suresh: ksshhhnn kssshnnn

Mark: Where did that sound come from?

Suresh: It came from my mouth…I mean my guns.

Mark: weirdo.

[ Squeezing a lemon wedge... ]

Mark: I’m gonna squeeze this in your eyeballs.

Suresh: Yeah? I’m gonna squeeze it on your balls.

Mark: What?? You’re crazy.
Suresh: What’s wrong? What I said  was just a subset of what you said.

Mark: I believe that anyone overhearing this conversation would agree with me.

Suresh: Why are you laughing at me?
Mark: Because I want to.
Suresh: You should die your death in the hell.
Mark: Die my death in the hell?
Suresh: Yeah, I know it doesn’t make sense, but you should still do it.