A page for randomness

December 30, 2003

Well, I’ve been workin my ass off for the holidays

Filed under: personal — Mark @ 2:05 pm

I got around 40 hrs last week at work..so much for xmas break. At least im gettin a lil cash, so thats always nice.

Xmas was cool. I got a portable (handheld) tv, which is pretty nifty. A pencam digital camera thing…a new cover for my cell phone that is see thru, and some other nick nack stuff. The fam loved the surround sound system…prolly as much as i did, lol. It’s pretty sweet.

Last night i went and saw the 3rd lotr movie, and it was tight, i think it was the best of the three…and when it comes out on dvd, im gonna have to do an all day marathon thing..ha.

Today is ma day off from work, and im glad…cuz for 5 days in a row i worked 8-4..and that’s just sucks, worse than school.

I bought me a couple of photons to have fun at the dances w/ now…at least i hope. Im fascinated by lights…yea i know, im a weird ass, but what the hell, this sh*t is cool. Im gonna have to get mong or someone to show me a few tricks.

It’s a nice day outside…and im getting a cold.

December 22, 2003

How u do in jamil’s class? he raped us

Filed under: personal — Mark @ 10:20 pm

Josh (7:59:30 PM): manager of what
Mark (7:59:38 PM): bonanza
Josh (7:59:42 PM): wtf
Josh (7:59:46 PM): u still work there
Josh (7:59:50 PM): dude
Josh (7:59:52 PM): dont work
Mark (7:59:53 PM): i do for the holiday
Mark (7:59:54 PM): lmao
Josh (7:59:57 PM): he’s gonna say yes
Mark (8:00:15 PM): she is checkin if the other manager had me scheduled or not
Josh (8:00:21 PM): or
Josh (8:00:24 PM): *oh
Josh (8:00:30 PM): that blows a black cock
Mark (8:00:34 PM): twice
Josh (8:00:44 PM): with cherries on top
Mark (8:00:47 PM): mmmm
Mark (8:00:52 PM): and whipped cream
Josh (8:01:03 PM): and pubic hairs
Mark (8:01:10 PM): lots
Josh (8:01:11 PM): black wirey ones
Josh (8:01:40 PM): does andy have school tomorrow?
Josh (8:01:55 PM): and y are finals AFTER the break this yr?
Josh (8:02:03 PM): thats teh gh3yz0r
Mark (8:02:14 PM): lmao..you said it was awesome
Mark (8:02:18 PM): in phi’s room
Josh (8:02:32 PM): what, black cocks?
Mark (8:02:41 PM): no, finals after break
Mark (8:02:47 PM): andy does have school
Mark (8:02:48 PM): btw
Josh (8:02:51 PM): yea, awesome for our school
Josh (8:02:53 PM): that blows
Mark (8:03:01 PM): ?
Mark (8:03:03 PM): lmao
Josh (8:03:05 PM): wait, nevermind
Josh (8:03:16 PM): i dont wanna have to wory about finals over xmas break
Josh (8:03:17 PM): that would suck
Mark (8:03:20 PM): no sh*t
Mark (8:03:25 PM): neither would i
Mark (8:03:30 PM): i would remember anything
Josh (8:03:33 PM): this is the only time till summer when we have NOTHING we ahve to do for school
Mark (8:03:45 PM): like finals before break, i remember 50%, finals after break 10%
Josh (8:03:53 PM): lol
Mark (8:03:54 PM): exactly
Josh (8:03:58 PM): how u do in jamil’s class?
Josh (8:04:01 PM): he raped us
Mark (8:04:03 PM): A-
Mark (8:04:06 PM): what what
Mark (8:04:11 PM): 88 on the final
Josh (8:04:14 PM): i have a 74 average
Mark (8:04:18 PM): hahaha
Josh (8:04:22 PM): he said b- though
Mark (8:04:24 PM): thats a B+ to him
Mark (8:04:27 PM): voops
Mark (8:04:31 PM): too high i guess
Josh (8:04:31 PM): lol
Josh (8:04:33 PM): maybe
Josh (8:04:45 PM): phillip alday made a 71
Josh (8:04:49 PM): phi made a 74
Josh (8:04:54 PM): both 800 math guys
Mark (8:04:57 PM): lmao
Josh (8:05:01 PM): (SAT)
Josh (8:05:20 PM): damn
Josh (8:05:25 PM): gf is being a b*tch
Mark (8:05:30 PM): the Jamil Factor….add anywhere from 0-infinity points to you grade to get what he thinks you deserve
Josh (8:05:38 PM): lol
Josh (8:05:43 PM): which is never a C unless you suck
Mark (8:05:57 PM): like keith, nelly, randy (if that good)
Mark (8:06:01 PM): rachel…
Mark (8:06:04 PM): logan
Josh (8:06:05 PM): wanna go to shs tomorrow to “visit” i.e. brag
Mark (8:06:07 PM): need i go on?
Mark (8:06:12 PM): exactly….
Mark (8:06:13 PM): dude
Josh (8:06:30 PM): dude
Josh (8:08:21 PM): you can do what raymond does better, and then i can ask him thing he hasnt learned yet ….ok raymond, but what is the the derivative of f(x,y,z) in the direction of vector u with respect to z
Mark (8:08:25 PM): of course, if we show ramond up, the supposed “knower of all calc”, then we show up everyone else in the class…bc there are those females who are complete morons, and doubtful anyone else that is smarter than ramond, which doesn’t say much about ramond
Josh (8:08:38 PM): lol
Mark (8:08:49 PM): lmao
Mark (8:08:52 PM): fun times
Josh (8:09:05 PM): and we can go to mrs. bonsall
Josh (8:09:06 PM): and be like
Josh (8:09:12 PM): we shouldnt have gone to lsmsa?
Mark (8:09:13 PM): or we could just say something simple like..”ramond, can you find me the length of this arc?”
Josh (8:09:21 PM): haha
Mark (8:09:22 PM): lmao, i know
Josh (8:09:25 PM): yea, they havent learned that yet
Josh (8:09:27 PM): oh yea
Josh (8:09:33 PM): they have calc I knowledge at most
Mark (8:09:37 PM): which involved integral and first der
Mark (8:09:47 PM): involves*
Josh (8:09:47 PM): have they done intergrals yet?
Mark (8:09:51 PM): no way
Josh (8:09:53 PM): lmao
Josh (8:09:55 PM): wow
Mark (8:09:56 PM): i think they’ve done simple ders
Josh (8:10:13 PM): dude, they started school before us, have more school days than us, and are still in school
Mark (8:10:18 PM): according to what i rung out of andy….which he has no clue about physics….
Mark (8:10:19 PM): lmao
Josh (8:10:20 PM): and its AP
Josh (8:10:21 PM): wow
Josh (8:10:58 PM): hehe, i dont thin i remeber how to find lengths of arcs
Josh (8:11:07 PM): its it like the squar of some derivative thing
Mark (8:11:14 PM): yea
Josh (8:11:17 PM): minus another derivative?
Josh (8:11:25 PM): squared
Josh (8:11:26 PM): lol
Mark (8:11:34 PM): possible reasons: teachers are stupid, ie. dumb; school is low budget and stupid; all the above
Mark (8:12:07 PM): fnInt((1 + dy/dx^2)^(1/2))
Mark (8:12:33 PM): along [A,B] w/ respect to X, of course
Mark (8:12:36 PM): lmao
Josh (8:13:42 PM): well, you have to tell my which variable its with respect to because we do some crazy sh*t like, with respect to z or with respect to x and then y or y and then z blah blah
Josh (8:13:45 PM): i didnt learn ANYTHING
Mark (8:13:51 PM): for some odd reason, it seems like our teachers have an idea of what they are doing….oh yea, and all have a masters or ph.d in their field
Josh (8:13:59 PM): lmao
Mark (8:14:37 PM): plus the other tons of sh*t they know (for god knows what reason)
Mark (8:14:44 PM): maybe cuz they like to learn….
Mark (8:14:47 PM): oh, that might be it
Mark (8:14:50 PM): unlike ppl from here
Josh (8:14:52 PM): lol
Mark (8:14:57 PM): kaching
Mark (8:15:44 PM): lmao…you should apply to be a math teacher at shs

Josh (8:15:47 PM): any call?
Josh (8:15:51 PM): hehe
Mark (8:16:14 PM): not yet, she said it would be a lil bit, cuz its “busy time”….but if nothing by 9, i will call back
Mark (8:16:38 PM): wait….even better
Mark (8:16:48 PM): i should be the new comp sci teacher
Mark (8:16:49 PM): lmao
Josh (8:17:13 PM): class name: Advanced AP Advanced Calculus for Advanced people who dont like the south III BC Accelerated /gifted/level III (event though there is no level II)
Mark (8:17:21 PM): LMAO
Josh (8:17:27 PM): oh yea….+honors
Mark (8:18:05 PM): c/c++, vb, java, javascript, vbscript, html, basic, ti-calc…..and anything i forgot
Mark (8:18:11 PM): that’s what im gonna teach
Mark (8:18:12 PM): lmao
Josh (8:18:18 PM): hehe
Josh (8:18:28 PM): “How to program the world: my mark mckelvy”
Josh (8:18:30 PM): or
Mark (8:18:35 PM): weird…i didn’t realize i knew all those languages
Mark (8:18:36 PM): till now
Mark (8:18:45 PM): LMAO
Mark (8:18:51 PM): program the world < Josh (8:18:51 PM): “usefull stuff that i actually learned when i took elective classes”
Mark (8:18:57 PM): w00t
Josh (8:19:03 PM): or
Mark (8:19:08 PM): “and how you can actually work somewhere with this stuff”
Josh (8:19:12 PM): lol
Josh (8:19:13 PM): uea
Josh (8:19:36 PM): or
Josh (8:19:38 PM): “mark”
Mark (8:19:43 PM): roflmao
Mark (8:19:53 PM): or
Mark (8:19:57 PM): “not mrs bell”
Mark (8:20:21 PM): || !mrs_bell
Josh (8:20:27 PM): Multi Articulation Rhetoric of Komputers
Mark (8:20:33 PM): hahahaha
Josh (8:21:27 PM): My Ass R Kewl
Mark (8:21:31 PM): if((mark && josh) > shs){ laugh; }
else{error;}
Josh (8:21:39 PM): lol
Mark (8:21:44 PM): lol
Mark (8:22:38 PM): i like how half the classes we’ve had…arent even offered at shs
Mark (8:22:40 PM): christ
Josh (8:22:42 PM): int main;
int shs= gay;
if shs = gay
Josh (8:23:00 PM): {print; SHS = GAY}
Josh (8:23:02 PM): w00t
Mark (8:23:12 PM): or….if they are…..they SuX0rs
Josh (8:23:25 PM): or, TI calc: Display; SHS = GAY
Josh (8:23:49 PM): Josh (8:15:51 PM): y r u finals after break?
less than jake a (8:16:12 PM): b/c shs is gay
less than jake a (8:16:18 PM): really really gay
Mark (8:23:56 PM): input S
if S=”shs”:Then:Disp “HAHA SHS IS GAY”
Josh (8:24:06 PM): hehe
Josh (8:24:30 PM): html: www.shs.gay/verygay/extra gay
Josh (8:24:42 PM): www.shs.homo
Josh (8:24:56 PM): gaygaygay.shsis.gay
Mark (8:25:13 PM): the site is down be www.shsisdirtpoorandgay.com
Mark (8:25:17 PM): bc*
Josh (8:25:21 PM): Flash: *shs is gay dancing letters*
Mark (8:25:31 PM): lol
Josh (8:25:41 PM): Java: *shs is gay in real pretty animated font*
Mark (8:25:52 PM): lol
Josh (8:26:17 PM): VB *shs is gay printed on a little gay check box*
Mark (8:26:23 PM): shs webpage: “Why our school is gay”
Mark (8:26:35 PM): lol
Josh (8:26:43 PM): lol
Josh (8:26:54 PM): Book: Shs is gay for dummies
Mark (8:27:14 PM): ‘Why our school is gay’ page: “Because we suck”
Josh (8:27:40 PM): the shsisgay virus made in the phillopeans
Mark (8:27:48 PM): lmao
Mark (8:28:07 PM): Book: Shs is for dummies
Josh (8:28:24 PM): SHS joke: Mark walks into a bar, sits down, and says, …
Josh (8:28:30 PM): “SHS IS GAY”
Mark (8:28:40 PM): rah ha
Josh (8:28:48 PM): SHS, the other other gay school’
Mark (8:28:54 PM): lmao
Mark (8:29:21 PM): if(IQ_child == low){goto shs;}
Mark (8:29:41 PM): if(Gay){goto shs;}
Josh (8:29:41 PM): else
Josh (8:29:43 PM): erica dur
Mark (8:29:50 PM): lmao
Josh (8:30:24 PM): instead of if()
new line of code IS(
Mark (8:30:26 PM): if(erica_durr == stupid){goto shs;}

note: erica_durr will always return ‘ture’
Mark (8:30:38 PM): true*
Mark (8:30:52 PM): shs.isGAY(TRUE);
Josh (8:31:11 PM): // SHS IS GAY
Josh (8:31:37 PM): pass by reference shs’s gayness
Mark (8:31:44 PM): shs.setGay(TRUE);

!! Error, shs is const Gay
Josh (8:31:58 PM): you have to you a float to initialize shs’s gayness
Josh (8:32:02 PM): lol
Josh (8:32:34 PM): int erica dur = gay
Error(17YG90y275025) can’t initialize a constant gay
Mark (8:32:37 PM):
value = shs.double.gay()
Mark (8:32:43 PM): show(value)
Mark (8:32:48 PM): “SHS IS GAY”
Mark (8:32:52 PM): “TWICE”
Mark (8:33:04 PM): roflamo
Josh (8:33:33 PM): open(shs)
Error: 102.5 terrabytes of gay is to much for your ram to handle
Mark (8:33:53 PM): if(erica_durr != gay){….

Error(YAMAHA548798798456)-> “Erica durr will never NOT be gay”
Josh (8:34:07 PM): lmao, yamaha errors
Mark (8:34:10 PM): lol
Josh (8:34:12 PM): AHH, i hated those
Josh (8:34:16 PM): lmao
Mark (8:34:17 PM): ditto
Josh (8:34:19 PM): memories
Mark (8:34:49 PM): if(mark_josh_hate_yamaha == true){shs=gay}

Error->cannot reinitialize a const
Josh (8:35:02 PM): if erica dur != annoying
then {hell comes into existance, and then freezes over}
Mark (8:35:17 PM): Andy (8:34:33 PM): you there?
Mark (8:34:52 PM): yes
Andy (8:35:00 PM): whats goin on?
Mark (8:35:08 PM): me and josh are hatin on shs
Mark (8:35:09 PM): lmao
Josh (8:35:27 PM): lol
Josh (8:36:12 PM): Josh (8:32:16 PM): If{andy’s hands = greasy}
Josh (8:32:25 PM): then { shs = gay}
Mark (8:36:30 PM): ROFLMAO
Mark (8:37:13 PM): best one so far
Josh (8:37:30 PM): lol
Josh (8:37:33 PM): i told that to andy
Josh (8:37:35 PM): no respons
Mark (8:37:45 PM): if(andyshandsgreased()){shs.isGay()}
Mark (8:37:50 PM): i did too
Mark (8:37:55 PM): i pasted some of our stuff too
Mark (8:37:55 PM): lmao
Josh (8:38:04 PM): lim (shs–>gay) = infinity
Mark (8:38:17 PM): lol
Mark (8:39:03 PM): Sigma shs.!gay = undefined
Mark (8:39:12 PM): Sigma shs.gay = infinity
Mark (8:39:32 PM): he calls us bastards
Mark (8:39:34 PM): “OOOOOOOO”
Mark (8:41:04 PM): wait josh…now we’re “nerds”
Josh (8:41:15 PM): lol
Josh (8:42:05 PM): nerds that can calculate the maximum height of a projectile fired at a 40 degree angle off a 30 meter cliff with an initial velocity of 300 m/s
Josh (8:42:18 PM): neglecting air resistance, of course
Mark (8:42:23 PM): exactly……and that’s just the beginning
Josh (8:42:28 PM): lol
Josh (8:42:45 PM): nerds that can calculate the mass of the moon by its oribital period and radius
Josh (8:42:53 PM): of orbit
Mark (8:43:02 PM): nerds can find how fast the sun rotates if it were compressed to the size of a neutron star
Josh (8:43:07 PM): nerds that have G memorized, as long as g
Josh (8:43:08 PM): lol
Josh (8:43:11 PM): and what law that followes
Mark (8:43:11 PM): lol
Josh (8:43:15 PM): *follows
Mark (8:43:19 PM): Kepler’s
Mark (8:43:20 PM): w00t
Josh (8:43:21 PM): and how to solve for it
Josh (8:43:33 PM): and how big josh’s penis is
Mark (8:43:44 PM): uh oh
Josh (8:43:47 PM): and that i’d spin faster if i didnt have a bonner
Josh (8:43:55 PM): and slow down when i was erect
Mark (8:43:56 PM): Andy (8:43:25 PM): oh no…..what have i started….
Mark (8:44:00 PM): LMAO
Josh (8:45:26 PM): Josh (8:40:51 PM): Calculate the mass of the moon
Josh (8:40:51 PM): if
Josh (8:41:03 PM): its orbits the eart at 380,000 km
Andy (8:41:14 PM): but i am not a nerd!
Josh (8:41:18 PM): the earth’s radius is 6093 km
Andy (8:41:19 PM): i am uncapable
Josh (8:41:35 PM): and the period is T = 27.3 days
Josh (8:45:49 PM): i made a 90 on my final
Josh (8:45:52 PM): physcal
Mark (8:45:55 PM): w00t
Josh (8:45:59 PM): i thought i did better than that
Mark (8:46:00 PM): i dunno what i got
Josh (8:46:08 PM): your class sucks dr. shaw told me
Josh (8:46:09 PM): lol
Mark (8:46:10 PM): Mark (8:45:46 PM): what is Kepler’s law?
Mark (8:45:51 PM): (equation)
Andy (8:46:03 PM): i dont know
Mark (8:46:17 PM): ROFLMAO
Josh (8:48:12 PM): we goin to movie or not?
Mark (8:48:34 PM): lemme call back

Dave Matthews Band Strokes Tool

Filed under: funny, personal — Mark @ 9:03 pm

It’s that time again…

So I’m home for xmas break…w00t, its nice to relax a lil. Xmas isn’t the same as it used to be…now it just means break from school, but I enjoy that much of it. I got a temp job w/ bonanza for the break to get some $$, and phil’s been givin me plenty of hrs. I think today was the first time I have ever spent money on my family for xmasbut I did. I bought “the family” a surround sound speaker set for the living room…..and the bro and sis a dvdw00. I can’t believe I have only one semester left of school, kind of scary actually. I’m possibly getting a new roomy, provided I can boot out hq. For some odd
reason he’s been being an ass, in his passive way….and im just tired of it. Brett East wants to move in, so when I can get hq out he’s gonna be in. I got my grades in….3A’s and 4B’s, same as usual. Next semester is gonna be hard stuff ..I’ve got 9 classes, and so far I’ve taken only 7 every semester. I can’t really think of anything else to talk about right now…oh well.


BSEJ887 (8:46:11 PM): Haha, music loser…

 


Auto response from m2a0r0k4uS (8:46:11 PM): Chillin:

Dj Doboy - Trancequility Volume 23 [summer breeze]


m2a0r0k4uS (8:46:20 PM): face hater

BSEJ887 (8:46:25 PM): lol

m2a0r0k4uS (8:46:54 PM): “thinking like this will surely lead you to depression” - pastor referring to atheism

m2a0r0k4uS (8:47:17 PM): “we are the only species of animals that knows god exists” - pastor

BSEJ887 (8:47:17 PM): Haha

BSEJ887 (8:47:30 PM): Hmm, I’ve yet to see depressed Dolphins

m2a0r0k4uS (8:47:36 PM): rofl

m2a0r0k4uS (8:47:37 PM): ditto

BSEJ887 (8:47:51 PM): And sloths are manic bastards

m2a0r0k4uS (8:47:57 PM): hahahaha

 


[Funny stuff I stole from Daniel]

Zybl0re: get up

Zybl0re: get on up

Zybl0re: get up

Zybl0re: get on up

phxl|paper: and DANCE

* nmp3bot dances :D\-

* nmp3bot dances :D|-

* nmp3bot dances :D/-

[SA]HatfulOfHollow: i’m going to become rich and famous after i invent a device that allows you to stab people in the face over the internet

BoZmAn20: Goddamnit, my ex girlfriend has such horrible taste in men

BoZmAn20: wait

BoZmAn20: Sh*t.

Raize: can you guys see what I type?

vecna: no, raize

Raize: How do I set it up so you can see it?

Arai: I use my right hand for everything except *one* thing.

Arai: Not wanking.

Arai: I wipe my ass with my left hand.

Vhabion: I use toillet paper

ohm: damn

ohm: i was just in an AIM convo with a chick, and my grandmother’s window pops up

ohm: i go like this to her

ohm: “i want to suck on your clit”

ckx: women ask for it

ckx: they act all old and mature

ckx: and then you stick your cock up their ass

ckx: and they get all whiney

ckx: “I”M ONLY 13, I’M ONLY 13!!!”

zaney: i sued to be smart but then my father, he fond out i wsa gay so eh ebaten me very baddly on the haad

EFX: is it strange to peel pieces of skin off your cock?

EFX: am I shedding so my cock will grow bigger?

svenmonk: My dad had a pop-up version of the Kama Sutra

PoisonPen: In his pants?

pcchew: haha

pcchew: i was with my girlfriend in the grocery store looking for some stuff for dinner

pcchew: we were in the meat isle and i got this idea

pcchew: i grabbed a summer sausage and pressed it in the middle of her back and said out loud in a deep voice “this isn’t a summer sausage i’m just a really tall man”

pcchew: she was as red as the beef on display

Kevlor: I finally found out where ugly people come from.

Jaayy: Where?

Kevlor: Ugly babies.

Jaayy: And where do Ugly babies come from?

Kevlor: Ugly people.

Jaayy: You realize you’re a dumbass right?

aykroyd: the worst “i feel old” moment is when you realize the playmate of the month was born in a year you clearly
remember

timovgod: I was in a rape awarness class once, well… my picture was.

ikkenai: if i pull on a clitoris hard enough, will it eventually come out as a huge penis like in hentai

Mr_X: I once went fishing with K0ffing and we caught syphilis.

K0ffing: worst tasting fish ever

SnowMuse17: hey sexy

SnowMuse17: lol

ultima pyro: this is Keith’s mom, Lynn.

Lepper: bob would you have sex with your mom if she were hot?

LkTrout1: Lepper’s family tree is a straight line.

jimx: Two families move from Lebanon to America. When they arrive the two fathers make a bet - in a year’s time whichever family has become more American will win.

jimx: A year later they meet again:

jimx: The first man says, “My son is playing baseball, I had McDonalds for breakfast and I’m on my way to pick up a case of Bud, how about you?”

jimx: The second man replies, “F*** you, towelhead.”

Frieza: dont you get it! I have a giant Brain that is capable of reduceing anything down to a yes or no question.

bUdDyLeE: LOL `Frieza I don’t think that’s how it’s supposed to work

bUdDyLeE: watch

bUdDyLeE: What is the meaning of life?

Frieza: yes

bUdDyLeE: elaborate

Frieza: no

bUdDyLeE: fair enough.

dedhed: Living within your means is totally where it’s at

Grifter: and by “within your means” you mean “with my parents” right?

tewl: ii think i may have accidentally drank my own piss today

KyleYankan: im not fat

KyleYankan: :-(

KyleYankan: I’m big boner.

KyleYankan: uh….

KyleYankan: typo.

manero: this song sounds like a f***ing fire alarm

manero: BEEEEEEEEEEEEE BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE BEEEEEEEEEEE BEEEEEEEEEEE
BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

manero: oh sh*t

manero: IT IS THE FIRE ALARM

manero: hahah f*** me bbrk

Sonique> you know you’ve just experienced an odd moment at 3:30am when you’re completely naked making an away msg for aim and your dad (clothed only in breifs) strolls by, waves, and says, “i thought i smelled something. oh well, night!”, and walks off

dreamwraith: Girls that think oral sex isn’t really sex are so f***ed in the head.

Dest: dreamwraith: Literally.

SpudMuffn: I jack off in the shower so much that I get a hard-on whenever it rains.

tek9: i brag about my bed sheets

tek9: i have spiderman

Haze: i have cum stains

kisama: i’ll have dsl too, by this week, brett

kisama: cockface is hooking me up

kisama: :-)

Guilty|: Thats really nice of your mom to do

iban: uhoh

iban: its 5am

iban: about time for my morning wood

SpookyD: if ppl saw what was on my screen right now they would be shocked and disgusted ;-)

DanJ: So get some tissues and clean it

Anon: I want to be a concert promoter…

Anon: and sign Dave Matthews Band, The Strokes, and Tool for the same show…

Anon: and bill them in that order

GiantRobot: yeah, because those three obviously have such similar fans…

Anon: No no

Anon: I just want the ticket stub

Anon: Dave Matthews Band Strokes Tool

ava: A WORM

ava: JUST

ava: CRAWLED OUT OF MY DOGS ASS AND LANDED ON ME

_enzo: o m f g

* {ava} dies.

mzazchw: just then i felt my side

mzazchw: and i was like “why do i have a scab???”

mzazchw: then i looked at it

mzazchw: ………………………..

mzazchw: …. it was dried cum

FairLighT: you know something’s wrong when you have dreams about eating pudding and you wake up with a spoon in your ass

netzdamon: ok had her over here last nite

netzdamon: right after dinner and my ass hole has been bugging me

netzdamon: and we were going at it a little while later

netzdamon: dumb beach went down and f***ing licked a big glob of preperation h

netzdamon: i started laughing so hard i almost pissed myself

netzdamon: Preperation H Hemorrhoidal Ointment:

netzdamon: Goverment Warning: Do not let gf or wife eat your ass with this ointment packed in it. May cause puking/divorce.

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